Practical Ways to Support Yourself at Work
7/27/20263 min read
Practical Ways to Support Yourself at Work
While there isn't a roadmap through grief, there are gentle ways to make returning to work feel a little more manageable.
Start with one task at a time.
When grief feels overwhelming, even small decisions can feel exhausting.
Instead of focusing on everything that needs to be accomplished, ask yourself:
"What's the next one thing I can do?"
One email.
One phone call.
One meeting.
One step.
Small victories matter.
Build breaks into your day.
Grief is emotionally and physically exhausting.
If possible, allow yourself moments to step outside, take a short walk, sit quietly in your car, or simply take a few slow breaths.
You don't have to be "on" every minute of the workday.
Lower the bar—temporarily.
This may be one of the hardest suggestions to accept.
You may have been someone who always exceeded expectations.
Who rarely made mistakes.
Who prided yourself on being dependable.
Grief changes your capacity.
For a season, "good enough" may truly be enough.
And that's okay.
Healing isn't measured by productivity.
Let someone know what you need.
You don't have to tell your entire workplace everything you're experiencing.
But having one trusted person—a supervisor, coworker, or human resources representative—can make an enormous difference.
Sometimes what helps most isn't solving the problem.
It's simply knowing that someone understands why today feels harder than yesterday.
When People Don't Know What to Say
One of the loneliest parts of returning to work is discovering that the people around you often don't know how to respond.
Some coworkers may avoid you entirely.
Others may pretend nothing happened.
Some may say things they genuinely believe are comforting but leave you feeling misunderstood.
"If you need anything..."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"They're in a better place."
Most of the time, these words come from discomfort, not a lack of caring.
Our culture doesn't teach people how to respond to grief.
As painful as it is, remember that another person's awkwardness isn't a reflection of your worth or of your child's life.
You are allowed to set boundaries.
You are allowed to say,
"I'd rather not talk about it today."
Or,
"Thank you for thinking of me."
Or even,
"I appreciate your kindness."
Protecting your heart is not selfish.
It's necessary.
You Don't Have to Leave Your Child Behind
One fear many bereaved parents quietly carry is this:
"If I begin functioning again... am I leaving my child behind?"
The answer is no.
Healing is not forgetting.
Smiling isn't betrayal.
Laughing doesn't mean your love has become smaller.
Returning to work doesn't mean your grief has ended.
Love doesn't disappear because life continues.
In many ways, our loved ones continue to shape who we are.
The compassion we offer others.
The patience we've learned.
The priorities that have shifted.
The way we notice another grieving parent.
The way we cherish ordinary moments.
Love changes us.
And that love goes with us wherever we are—even into conference rooms, classrooms, hospitals, construction sites, and offices.
You never have to stop being your child's parent.
When It Might Be Time to Reach for Additional Support
Grief isn't something we "get over."
But it also isn't something we have to carry alone.
If returning to work feels impossible...
If you find yourself withdrawing from everyone...
If anxiety or panic are making it difficult to function...
If the weight of grief feels heavier instead of lighter...
Or if you simply wish there were a place where you didn't have to pretend...
Therapy can provide that space.
Not because someone can take your grief away.
No one can.
But because healing often begins when we no longer have to carry the weight alone.
In therapy, there is no expectation that you'll "be okay."
There is no timeline.
No pressure to move on.
Only space to tell the truth about what life has become.
Together, we can gently explore ways to help you navigate work, relationships, identity, and the ongoing process of integrating your loss into a life that still holds meaning and purpose.
A Final Thought
If you've made it to the end of this article, I want to leave you with one thought.
Right now, it may feel as though you're standing between two lives.
The life you had before your child died.
And the life you're trying to build now.
That space in between can feel impossibly lonely.
Please know this:
You don't have to choose between loving your child and continuing to live.
You can do both.
You can carry profound sorrow and still experience moments of joy.
You can miss your child every single day and still discover purpose again.
Healing doesn't ask you to let go of your child.
It asks you to let love become part of the way you move forward.
Your relationship with your child doesn't end.
It changes.
And while life may never look the way you once imagined, it can still hold moments of connection, meaning, laughter, and hope.
Not because the pain disappears.
But because love has a remarkable way of growing alongside it.