The Invisible Work of Grieving at Work
Coping with Child Loss (part 2)
7/27/20261 min read
The Invisible Work of Grieving in the Workplace
Most people think grief is sadness.
Sadness is certainly part of it.
But grief is also invisible work happening every moment of the day.
Your mind is constantly adjusting to a reality it never wanted to accept.
Every experience becomes another reminder:
You wake up...
...and remember.
You drive to work...
...and remember.
You hear a song...
...and remember.
You see another parent picking up their child from school...
...and remember.
Even when you're trying to focus on work, your brain continues to process thousands of reminders that life has changed forever.
That constant emotional labor is exhausting.
It's no wonder concentration becomes difficult.
The Pressure to "Be Better"
One of the hardest parts of returning to work isn't the workload.
It's the expectations.
Sometimes those expectations come from others.
Sometimes they come from ourselves.
Many grieving parents feel an enormous pressure to reassure everyone that they're "doing okay."
You may find yourself saying,
"I'm hanging in there."
"I'm doing better."
"I'm okay."
Not because those statements feel true...
...but because they're easier than explaining the complexity of grief.
The truth is that healing rarely happens in a straight line.
You might feel relatively steady one morning and find yourself in tears after hearing a familiar song during lunch.
You may laugh with coworkers and then feel guilty for laughing.
You may have a productive afternoon followed by an evening where the weight of your loss feels almost unbearable.
None of this means you're grieving incorrectly.
Grief moves in waves.
Some are gentle.
Others knock us off our feet without warning.
Learning to expect those waves—and to meet them with compassion rather than judgment—is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.